A New Beginning To An Old Favourite
by GayApparel
Summary: [PostRENT] Roger realizes his feelings aren't just his imagination.


**Disclaimer:** None of these characters belong to me, but I've put a LOT of thought into them.

**Notes:** I guess I do my best thinking when I feel like shit. XD Well... I couldn't sleep, so I tried writing. But now I could totally pass out. Dedicated to several friends for being totally fucking amazing. Especially Ann for all her efforts from before. You know what you did. XD Thanks hon. I'm working on the sequel to SASMTO for those who are curious, and thanks for your amazing patience. I've been TRYING to do that one, but it's not coming to me. I do have bits of the first chap up, but not too much. Anyway, enjoy all!

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**A New Beginning To An Old Favourite**

Mark was always known as the strong one; the only problem with that was that Mark never felt that way. In fact, he always saw himself as the weakest link in their group of friends. Roger was the sexy one, who could impress anyone with his musical talent, Collins was a professor of philosophy, Benny became rather successful in his career in real estate, and even Angel 'lived' when she knew she was going to die. Even his ex-girlfriend, Maureen found success. Granted it was in a relationship she hadn't count on lasting as long as it did.

For Roger, he always saw himself as the strong one, but when he couldn't even take care of himself, let alone handle a situation alone, he knew he wasn't as strong as he thought. He leaned on Mark for more support than anyone else, and during that process, though difficult, it brought them closer together. Roger even found himself having unusual thoughts of Mark, but always dismissed them, figuring it was just Mark being so wonderful, and taking care of him when he knew he really didn't deserve it.

When Roger met Mimi, however, things changed for him, although, he didn't stop thinking about Mark. Mark had made a permanent imprint on his heart, and he would always be grateful for all the help the filmmaker gave him. Mimi, having so much in common with Roger, managed to open him up; including getting him out of the loft, and opening his heart back up to love. That hurt Mark, but he never made that known… not even to himself. It was a thought that stayed in the back of him mind, only to surface when Mimi nearly died.

That night was a nightmare for everyone who had ever lived in the loft, or was associated with any of the friends. The friends were about to lose another one to a deadly disease, and Mark knew if she had died, he would lose Roger forever. He prayed silently that night, as they all watched and waited to see if it was the end… not for her death, but that she live, so he would still have his Roger… his Roger. That was when he realized his feelings went beyond just a brotherly love.

Things became more difficult for both boys as things started to get worse. Mimi may not have died that night, but she was changed. She did finally give up the drugs, but she stopped living her life. She sunk into herself, pushing Roger away, telling him she knew she was going to die soon. Roger didn't want to believe it, and would tell her she'd be fine. She survived before, and she could do it again. But it wasn't enough.

As Mimi closed herself off from Roger, he began spending more time with Mark. They'd have long talks about what was going on with Mimi, what it was like when he went through his hard times, remembering the good times, and talking out the bad. Mark tried hard to work up the courage to tell Roger how he was feeling about him, but it seemed each time he tried, Roger would begin with Mimi again. Mark was ready to just give up on it.

Roger had spent a couple days down at Mimi's, just enjoying some time with her, trying to get her to open up to him the way he did with Mark, but to no avail. She wouldn't budge, and she did indeed seem to be getting worse. He cared for her as she slept, but his mind seemed to wander back to a time when Mark did the same thing for him.

Roger was remembering Mark… including how he had begun to feel for him during his time of need. Was it real, or just his emotions taking a perfectly innocent situation, and making more of it than it was? He had to know. He had to know now. He gingerly rested Mimi's head against her pillow, and gently removed himself from her bed. Quietly, he crept out of the fire escape, and back up to the loft, where he found Mark working on a script.

"Hey… you're working on a script again? I thought you gave that up?" Roger said, entering, and noticing Mark.

"OH GOD! You startled me…" Mark jumped slightly, running the pen across the paper. "Oh man. I was almost done with that too." He tried to write around the pen line, but got frustrated, and set it down on the table. "What're you doing home? I thought you were staying at Mimi's tonight?"

"Well, I was gonna, but she fell asleep, and uh… I dunno. I wanted to come back here… and see you." Roger flashed a small smile, and made his way to the couch that Mark was occupying, moving over the camera, and sitting down.

Mark glanced over at him, then down at his camera, then back up at Roger, and scowled. "Sorry, man. I just moved it." Roger stated. "Don't need to get pissy."

"I'm not being pissy. I just hate when you touch my camera, because you have a tendency to use it, and-" Mark was interrupted.

"Sorry. Look, I know film can be expensive, so… next time you get the chance you should buy it. So… if I _do_ use it, there'll be plenty." Roger hoped that was enough to win him over.

Mark gave him a lop-sided grin, but rolled his eyes. "You know I wouldn't do that. Not if it meant you wouldn't be able to eat. We-" Mark added quickly. "We wouldn't be able to eat."

Roger chuckled, slapping his hand down, but missed him knee, instead hitting Mark's hand, but didn't notice. Mark looked down at their hands, Roger's atop his, and smiled. Even if Roger hadn't noticed, Mark was glad for the contact… especially from Roger.

Mark took a dare and clenched his hand in Roger's, and just smiled at the musician. Roger was quite stunned by the moment, though he didn't pull away. In fact, he smiled back, finally figuring that his feelings were matched. Mark too, was giddy inside. His Roger could actually be his.

"Um…" Without another word, Roger felt an intense urge to lean over and kiss Mark. Something he had been thinking about since the first time he ever saw Mark in a different light. Mark met his kiss, only solidifying Roger's instinct. The kiss was short, but sweet. When they pulled away, Roger gazed into Mark's eyes sweetly. "Um…"

"You already said that," Mark mentioned, grinning widely. His hand rested softly on Roger's cheek, which had been recently shaved. Another smile plagued Mark's face. "You shaved. You haven't done that in a while."

"Well… to be honest… I um… shaved cuz I was hoping this would happen, and I didn't wanna scratch your face with my facial hair." Roger was grinning too, much like a little child after receiving candy.

"Can I ask you something, though?" Mark's smile faded, and he dropped his hand, turning his eyes down to the floor.

"What is it? What's the matter?" This time Roger brought his hand to Mark's face.

"What about Mimi?" Mark seemed to suddenly become depressed, sighing hard, looking up at Roger, whose face had also gone sullen.

"I guess we'll have to tell her. Mark… do you have any idea how long I've wanted to kiss you?" Mark shook his head. "Since April died, and you took care of me. Since then, I've-I've wanted to tell you, but the place I was in, and all the other shit that was going on… I never got the chance. Then Mimi came along, and-"

"And you fell in love with her," Mark said, finishing Roger's sentence. Roger shook his head. Mark arched his brow curiously. "What do you mean? I thought you loved her?"

"I do. I love her… very much. But Mark… I think I'm in love with you." Roger smiled nervously.

"You think? So… you're not sure? Rog, I'm confused." Mark pulled his hand out of Roger's, standing up.

Roger followed suit, and moved closer to him. "Mark… I dunno what's going on with me, or what these… feelings are, but… I know--well I think I know that I'm in love with you. I can't even begin to explain it."

"What are you gonna tell Mimi? Are you just gonna be with her, or are you-" Once again, Mark was interrupted.

"No… I dunno. I mean, it wouldn't be fair to you, _or_ to her if I stayed with her, knowing these feelings aren't just my imagination. But Mark... she's not doing well." Roger's hand gently caressed down Mark's arm from his shoulder, trying to give him a smile.

Mark didn't pull away, but the look on his face was definitely one of disappointment. "So… what happens now?"

"I should tell her… I should tell her the truth. Tell her how I feel about you, and… see what happens." Roger pulled away from Mark, and headed toward the door.

Mark chased after him. "Wait!" Mark shouted. "Take this with you before you go…" And before the words could finish from Mark's lips, they were pressed against Roger's. "I've wanted to do that to you for a long time too. I just… didn't admit it to myself until Mimi almost died."

Roger grinned. "Thanks. I needed that." Roger kissed Mark once more, and exited the loft.

Instead of going his usual way to Mimi's, Roger went out the front door, and down the steps to her apartment. He gently knocked on her door, but when she didn't answer he opened the door quietly. "Mimi? Mimi?" His voice was soft. "Mimi?" He called out her name a few times more, each time getting a little louder. He noticed the bedroom door ajar, and walked in quietly in case she was sleeping. "Mimi? Are you in here?"

Mimi was lying on her bed, eyes closed, looking peaceful. Roger smiled. He didn't want to wake her. He sat down on her bed, and leaned over, giving her a small kiss to her forehead. She wasn't warm. In fact, she was ice cold. That scared him.

Roger pulled away, jumping off the bed completely. He didn't want to touch her again. He was too frightened. He ran out of the room, and out of her apartment, very hurriedly ran up the steps, and burst into the loft. "MARK!"

Mark came out of the bathroom, hands still wet from washing them. "Roger… what's wrong?" Mark flew into the living room terrified.

Roger ran to Mark in a panic, grabbing his arms. "It's Mimi. I think something's wrong."

"Calm down, Rog. Calm down. What's wrong with her?" Mark tried to compose Roger. "Roger, please. Calm down."

"She's-She's-She's… cold. Her skin. She's cold. Go look. Go look!" Roger released Mark's arms, and fell to the floor, holding himself, rocking back and forth.

In an instant, Mark ran out of the loft, and down to Mimi's apartment, finding her in her bedroom. He carefully checked for a pulse, but found none. He brought his face close to her lips, but she wasn't breathing. Her lips were even blue. Mark bore a look of horror, and backed away, knocking over some of Mimi's stuff. He rushed back up to the loft, and saw Roger cradling himself. Slowly, he made his way over, and gingerly wrapped his arms around Roger, who just cried in Mark's arms. He knew from that moment that Mimi was really gone. Mark didn't have to say anything.

For hours, they stayed in each other arms, sobbing quietly. Roger looked up at Mark, tears finally dried, though his face stained. "Will you take care of me? I don't know if I can do this alone."

Mark nodded, and smiled sadly. "Of course I will. I always do."


End file.
